What to Expect From Individual, EMDR and Couples Therapy
People come to therapy for many reasons: they may feel overwhelmed, notice the same patterns repeating, be affected by difficult experiences or feel increasingly disconnected in a relationship. You do not need to arrive with a complete explanation or a fixed plan. A first conversation can help clarify what is happening, what you would like to change and which way of working may be most helpful.
You do not need to have everything worked out before the first session
In individual therapy, the first session is a chance to discuss what has brought you to therapy and what you would like to be different. This may include current feelings, relationship patterns, beliefs about yourself or difficulties such as self-sabotage and procrastination. It is also an opportunity to begin identifying what may be happening beneath the surface. The work is collaborative: observations and connections are shared, and the therapeutic approach is tailored to you rather than expecting you to fit one fixed model.
Talking therapy can help explore present difficulties and recurring patterns
Talking therapy offers a confidential, non-judgemental space to speak openly about what is difficult. It may be used to explore anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, stress, relationship difficulties and challenging life experiences. Different approaches can support different parts of the work. Person-centred therapy makes space for what is happening now; psychodynamic therapy considers how early experiences and important relationships may still shape reactions and relationships; and Internal Family Systems-informed work can help make sense of conflicting feelings or protective reactions.
EMDR focuses on experiences that still feel active in the present
EMDR is a structured therapy that may be considered when a distressing experience continues to affect how someone feels, thinks or reacts. In EMDR, a disturbing memory and the thoughts, feelings and beliefs connected with it are identified. Eye movements, sounds or another form of bilateral stimulation may be used while the memory is held in mind. The aim is not to erase the memory, but to help it feel more like something that happened in the past rather than something still happening now. You remain in control throughout the process, and the work proceeds at a manageable pace.
Attachment-Focused EMDR may be relevant when early experiences still affect relationships
Not all influential childhood experiences are remembered as obvious trauma. Feeling criticised, rarely good enough, unsafe or unable to rely on others can contribute to beliefs such as “I’m not good enough”, “I can’t trust people” or “I have to cope on my own”. Attachment-Focused EMDR gives particular attention to early relationships and the beliefs that developed from them. Clear memories or images are not required: current emotions, body sensations and felt experience can also be explored. An initial assessment helps determine whether traditional EMDR, Attachment-Focused EMDR or another approach is likely to be appropriate.
Couples therapy looks beyond the argument itself
When couples are stuck in familiar arguments, frustration, withdrawal and misunderstanding can become the pattern. Couples therapy slows those exchanges down to explore what is happening beneath them and what keeps the cycle going. The work may address communication, recurring conflict, trust, intimacy or disconnection. Different approaches may be used depending on the issue being addressed, including the Gottman Method, Imago Relationship Therapy, the Developmental Model and ideas informed by Esther Perel’s work.
Goals, structure and practice matter in relationship work
Couples work begins by developing practical ways of responding to one another. Partners are encouraged to practise these skills between sessions so that change can begin outside the therapy room as well. Six sessions are usually suggested as a structured starting point, followed by a review of progress towards the couple’s goals; this is not a limit on continuing therapy. Where helpful, individual sessions can be integrated. For couples who need concentrated time to address a relationship issue, a five-hour Couples Intensive offers focused work, with the option of individual time during the session and a written summary with tailored exercises afterwards.
Choosing a starting point
It is not necessary to decide the exact therapeutic approach on your own. A useful starting point is to consider the main concern: whether you want to understand personal patterns, work with the impact of difficult experiences, or improve how you and a partner communicate and relate. Therapy can then be shaped around your needs, goals and the issues that emerge in the work. Relational Solution Counselling provides sessions primarily online, with occasional face-to-face appointments available in North and Central London.